Most Grindhouse, more Cult films...more stuff!

So, with my recent examining of the PIRANHA series of films and the untimely passing of the legendary Roger Ebert, I began to think back to one of my earliest columns regarding my love of Grindhouse and exploitation films. Consider this Part Two and I dedicate it to Mr. Ebert’s memory, especially since he was so vocal about the whole negative aspect of the Slasher films of the Eighties. But Mr. Ebert had a wonderful skeleton in his closet too…

BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS(1970)  was a semi- sequel to the 1967 VALLEY OF THE DOLLS that quickly became a parody of the original. And it was directed by the legendary cult film director Russ Meyer and co-written by Meyer AND Roger Ebert. It features  an all girl rock band called the Carrie Nations, a cast of oddball characters, a lesbian affair, random nudity, an abortion, a crazy guy named Z-Man who has breasts(!) and ends with mass murder, including a beheading. It has a great soundtrack and some of the weirdest dialogue of the era. Credit THAT to Ebert’s amazing writing ability.

Personally, my favorite Meyer film is FAST, PUSSYCAT! KILL! KILL!(1965). This is the story of three go-go dancers on a wild murderous rampage. Shot in the Mojave Desert and starring cult legends Tura Satana, Haji, Lori Williams and Stuart Lancaster, it is an over the top ride filled with truly gratuitous violence, distorted gender roles and some totally out of bounds dialogue. Lines like “Easy baby, you're almost a fire hazard”, “Alright, you wash... now I'm gonna spin-a-dry you” and my personal favorite “Oh, you're cute... like a velvet glove cast in iron” flow freely like bad Shakespeare. It is such a classic film that White Zombie sampled dialogue from it in THUNDER KISS 65 and BLACK SUNSHINE.

When I think of great dialogue I think of a great American writer who made his name in films. I refer to Terry Southern. And most will go: WHO?  Terry Southern was a great satirical writer who managed to give birth to a world of followers with his style . He is famous for writing great dialogue on such films as DR. STRANGELOVE, THE MAGIC CHRISTIAN, CANDY(with Buck Henry), CASINO ROYALE, BARBARELLA and EASY RIDER, Near the end of his life, he wrote for SATURDAY NIGHT LIFE. But the hidden chestnut in his closest is a little pornographic film called PRETTY PEACHES(1978) that made an instant star out of an actress named Desiree Cousteau.

In a nutshell, this is hardcore take on Southern’s CANDY, which was his take on CANDIDE. Peaches has a fight with her Daddy at his wedding, gets into a car accident and gets amnesia. From there, this ditz is involved in all sorts of involuntary and voluntary carnal hilarity as she tries to regain her memory. In the end, Peaches regains her memory and a commentary on the breakdown of the American family is skillfully slipped into the action. But not before the film wallows in wall to wall sex, soon pretty taboo action and the great, snappy dialogue of Terry Southern. Remember kids that this guy wrote the classic line: “Gentlemen: You can’t fight in here. This is the War Room!”
 

When it comes to exploitation satire, one of my favorite films is PLEASE DON’T EAT MY MOTHER(1973). As least it has been since I first saw the trailer many years ago thanks to everyone’s favorite savior of lost films Mike Vraney.This is a total sexploitation horror-comedy spoof of Roger Corman's 1960 classic film LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS. Lonely Henry Fudd buys an unwanted, but carnivorous plant from a gay florist. Key word: carnivorous. He feeds it hamburgers, dogs, sexy girls and even mom herself. This harder than softcore and softer than hardcore spoof features starlet Rene Bond and director Carl Monson channeling Peter Falk as Officer O'Columbus. It’s fun, sexy and has just enough bad jokes for everyone!

And, as long as we’re talking about pornographic movies, I feel the need to include these two gems, because they are so closely linked to each other. EROTIC NIGHTS OF THE LIVING DEAD(1980) is a pornographic horror film written and directed by legendary cult director Joe D’Amato. A group of tourists end up on a tropical island cursed by voodoo. Throughout we are treated to hardcore sex, blood and guts and a far from happy ending. Going hand in hand is PORNO HOLOCAUST (1981) -yes, I kid you not…THAT IS THE TITLE, which was written by George Eastman and directed D’Amato. In it, a group of scientists go to an island where nuclear tests were done in the 1950s. We get overgrown crabs, mutated animals, and a monster that goes around raping and killing. It’s hardcore fun mixed with blood and guts, which makes both these films SO disturbing.  And they are linked to each other as they were shot at the same time and feature much of the same cast.

And, if I’m going to talk about legendary foreign directors, I need to include Jesus Franco
Franco was a Spanish director whose career took off with the 1961 classic THE AWFUL DR. ORLOFF but never received the acclaim he sought in this country. Moving to France in the Seventies to make more violent and sexual oriented films, many people considered him to be a porn director because of the large number of X-rated films he turned out during his career. Dying April 2 of this year, one of his most famous cult pieces is VAMPYROS LESBOS(1971). It’s about a female lawyer who meets a mysterious Countess who seduces her and turns her into a vampire. Before it is said and done, a doctor takes her under her wing in hopes she will turn him into a vampire. Besides being a good fun lesbian take on DRACULA, it has an amazing soundtrack. So amazing was it that it was included on the record VAMPYROS LESBOS: SEXADELIC DANCE PARTY, which was a HUGE HIT on the British Alternative music charts in the earlier Nineties.

In the Eighties, Italian zombie films were all the rage. One such gem is CANNIBAL APOCALYPSE(1980): an Antonio Margheriti masterpiece starring John Saxon. Saxon is a Vietnam Vet who once got bitten by a U.S. POW infected with a virus making the victim become cannibalistic. Years later, Saxon and the former POW begin a chain of events that end with a murder suicide and a bunch of hungry children looking to feast. Like most Eighties Italian horror films, it is chock full of gore upon gore and you wonder just how far it can go.

Speaking of cannibal films, there is always THE MOUNTAIN OF THE CANNIBAL GOD(1978)-another Italian gem that stars Ursula Andress and Stacy Keach. Andress and her brother hire Keach to trek into the jungles of New Guinea (the film was shot in Sri Lanka)  to find her missing anthropologist husband. The plot gets complicated and crazy when all the members of the expedition reveal their own private agendas, none of which has anything to so with Andress’ husband. They team gets captured by cannibals, who are worshipping the remains of her husband.  Everyone gets tortured, most end up dead and eaten while Andress and Cladio Cassinelli, who plays another explorer named Manolo, escape it all in the end. Besides having torture and gore it features animal cruelty including a live monkey being eaten by a python. 

So, let’s talk about the low budget gore film.  The American grandfather of the genre is Herschell Gordon Lewis and the original benchmark for disgusting was BLOOD FEAST: a 1963 low budget classic that had drive in patrons barfing in their popcorn back in the early Sixties. It is considered by most to be the first splatter film. Crazy caterer Fuad Ramses carves up women so he can resurrect the goddess Ishtar. We have legs being cut off, tongues being yanked out and someone gets scalped, among other acts of gory depravity. In the conclusion, Fuad ends up getting squished in a garbage truck, leading to the infamous line:  "He died a fitting end, just like the garbage he was." Tame by today’s standards, the splatter effects in this film, and most of the Lewis gems that followed, including THE GORE GORE GIRLS, TWO THOUSAND MANIACS,  and COLOR ME BLOOD RED, brought him the well deserved title of “The Godfather of Gore”. And they are worth watching just for the bad acting!

By the way, the Lewis film to see is LINDA AND ABILENE. It is a 1969 lesbian Western shot on the infamous Spahn Ranch not long before it was taken over by the Manson Family. Not a great film, it is a must see for historical purposes. It was recently released on Blu-Ray/DVD THE LOST FILMS OF HERSCHELL GORDON LEWIS which features LINDA AND ABILENE, ECSTACIES OF WOMEN and BLACK LOVE, all from the original negatives.

I have said many times before that I get to thank Mike Vraney and SOMETHING WEIRD VIDEO for piquing my interest in many classic exploitation films by putting out entire collections of horror/exploitation trailers. One such trailer led me to find the infamous LOVE CAMP 7(1969). Directed by Lee Frost and written by Wes Bishop and Bob Cresse(who has many sexploitation films to his credit and gets to over-act as a sadistic Nazi commandant), it is a women in prison film with a twist. It follows two female British officers who go undercover in a Nazi camp where the inmates serve as prostitutes for the Nazis. From there we get blood and gore, copious amounts of gratuitous full frontal nudity, torture, and rape. It takes the women in prison genre to a whole new level of disgusting. It’s ILSA with a mostly female cast of non-actors. Cresse would go on to star as Sgt. Felipio Latio in THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF ZORRO.


Another thing I finally got exposed to thanks to SWV was the genre of the MONDO films. Basically, they are pseudo-documentaries that led to the Shockumentary genre. In the earliest days, they have used staged sequences as “actual documentary footage”. For example: MONDO BALORDO featured a slave market that actually was shot in front of the cave used so prominently in ROBOT MONSTER(it’s in Bronson Canyon in Los Angeles). The most famous of the Mondo films is the 1962 Italian film MONDO CANE. What seems to be a travelogue of world images quickly become glimpses designed to shock Western audiences. It has a little bit for everybody. There are pigs being slaughtered, dogs being skinned alive for their meat, and sharks being force fed sea urchins. We get drunk Germans, drunk Japanese men at a massage parlor, and hula dancers. Oh yeah: we also have bull fights and cargo cults. It is one of the most bizarre and confusing films you will ever see and led to the film’s theme, The movie's theme song, "More” being nominated for an Academy Award for Best Song in 1963.

 
The Mondo genre gave birth to the Shockumentary genre which brought us the legendary FACES OF DEATH(1978). Much of the legend involves the fact that this is a Mondo film that revels in presenting death. Over the years, the film has been banned in many countries

including the United Kingdom. Over the years, it has also been revealed  by the make-up artist for the film that approximately 40% of the human deaths are fakes. Either way, you get napalm bombing, World War II footage, slaughterhouse video and baby seals being clubbed to death. The most infamous (and real) scene involves footage of a motorcyclist killed by a tractor trailer and it features paramedics cleaning up brain matter and such off the highway. It led to a whole series of sequels and a documentary on the making of the series. It has even led to copycat films such as TRACES OF DEATH(1993) which featured far more real newsreel footage, such as the televised suicide of Pennsylvania Treasurer Budd Dwyer and the death of Vic Morrow during TWILIGHT ZONE THE MOVIE. Personally, I would rather watch old Driver’s Education films than ANY of these. 

But thinking of John Landis(referencing TWILIGHT ZONE THE MOVIE), I have to include the gem that no one really remembers. Hey-John Landis: ANIMAL HOUSE, THE BLUES BROTHERS, AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON, KENTUCKY FRIEND MOVIE(if you have NEVER SEEN THIS, YOU MUST!!!) and AMAZON WOMEN ON THE MOON. Really? Never heard of that one? Well, you are truly missing a gem. It’s an anthology, parody film very much in the vein of KENTUCKY FRIEND MOVIE that features 21 different sketches and directing contributions from five different directors, including Joe Dante (see my PIRANHA blog). The theme revolves around WIDB-TV having problems with the later night movie it is airing (this awful science fiction movie called AMAZON WOMEN ON THE MOON which stars Steve Forrest and Sybil Danning) so they resort to showing PSAs, commercials, trailers, and talk shows. Every now and then, between infomercials and clips from other movies, they resort to showing the main feature. The film is populated with all sorts of stars and near stars including Andrew Dice Clay, Robert Picardo, Paul Bartel, Rosanna Arquette, Carrie Fisher, Michelle Pfeiffer, Arsenio Hall, Phil Hartman, Bryan Cranston and even FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND’s own Forrest J. Ackerman. My favorite bit is a PSA featuring David Alan Grier and B.B. King for "blacks without soul"

While not as laugh out loud funny at KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE (a review down the road…I promise!), it has a wonderful Eighties feel to it and, if you ever got the chance to watch true late night television, back in the days BEFORE cable, this is a true love fest. Hey-I spent three years in my teens spending every Saturday night at my grandmother’s house watching Hammer horror films from midnight until 5 A.M. You would have been AMAZED at what often ended up being run during those hours.

Anyway, that is all from me for now. Maybe another movie review in a few or I may be back to THE NEW 52. It all depends on how the mood strikes me. Until then, be well and enjoy yourself. Because, what else are you going to do-be miserable?!

PIRANHA AND THE LEGACY OF THE SEQUELS

So recently, I got the absolute joy (seriously!) of watching PIRANHA 3DD(actually, this was the  title of the 3D release…my version is just DD). Now before you throw me up against the wall and try to convince me that I have lost my mind, hear me out (sorry-it’s my boss’ favorite line). It was a $5.00 DVD purchase and the cover art alone caught my eye, as you can well imagine. Now, I have an absolute warm place in my heart for the original Joe Dante film from 1978 and couldn’t bring myself to watch the remake from 2010(more on that shortly). But this just looked so goofy and…it has ‘The Hoff’ in it. And it was 5 bucks.

So, to get the full feel, I had to go out and get PIRANHA 3D(or the version I know is just called PIRANHA). So here’s the short story on that one. We start with fisherman Matt Boyd, played by Richard Dreyfuss channeling Matt Hooper from JAWS, gets torn apart by a school of piranhas. Sheriff Julie Forester, played by 80’s star Elisabeth Shue, and Deputy Fallon (Ving Rhames chewing copious amounts of scenery) discover the mutilated body and decide they need to close the lake. That’s kind of tough to do because there are two thousand partying college students on spring break here. As you can imagine, stuff hits the fan and fast! It’s a feeding frenzy leaving almost everyone dead or mutilated until a flare igniting a pair of propane tanks does the little beasties in.

This movie is a roller coaster comedy that pulls out a ton of clichés and rolls them into a scary, gory little package. And it is filled with guest appearances galore. That in itself is enough that this should be in your collection. Besides Shue, Dreyfuss and Rhames, you get Jerry O’Connell as a sleazy pornographer, Dina Meyer (Barbara Gordon from BIRDS OF PREY), Paul Scheer, Eli Roth, former porn stars Ashlynn Brooke and Gianna Michaels, and Christopher Lloyd channeling Doc Brown. Just to see Rhames carving up killer fish with an outboard motor propeller being used like a weed whacker is priceless. not to mention the little touches thrown in (Dreyfuss is listening to the song SHOW ME THE WAY TO GO HOME which is also the song he, Robert Shaw and Roy Scheider sing in JAWS). Gratuitous nudity and gore, cool cameos and over the top action and acting make this a loving semi-tribute to the original, which was in itself a parody of Speilberg’s JAWS.

Ving Rhames and the outboard

Which leads me back to that original.

Back in 1978, Roger Corman produced a little B movie called PIRANHA, It was the second feature film for Joe Dante, whose resume since includes such classics as GREMLINS, ROCK AND ROLL HIGH SCHOOL and THE HOWLING. John Sayles, known for THE RETURN OF THE SECAUCUS 7 and CLAN OF THE CAVE BEAR, among many other works, wrote the screenplay.

In a nutshell, after a few piranha attacks, we learn that a former fish hatchery had been militarized as part of a Vietnam War project called Operation; Razorteeth. The project was shut down when the war ended but some specimens survived and now we have a rather curious but moronic insurance investigator accidentally releasing the creatures into the wild. More specifically: The Lost River Water Park and summer camp. Of course the man who tended to these specimens manages to die before he can reveal how to kill them. Of course the fish attacks the summer camp, killing many children in the process and then proceed to the water park. In the end, pollution from a smelting tank is used to destroy the fish…although they don’t ALL.

This is a true classic in all ways.  Insane plot, cheesy special effects…actually, that’s not true. The special effects featured some of Rob Bottin’s earliest work. prior to his work on THE THING. And you get a loaded cast of B movie actors: Bradford Dillman, Heather Menzies, Kevin McCarthy, Keenan Wynn, Barbara Steele, Belinda Balaski, frequent Corman participant Paul Bartel, Bruce Gordon and, of course, the ubiquitous Dick Miller. 

Success led to a sequel and in 1981, PIRANHA II: THE SPAWNING arrived. It’s most famous piece of trivia involves the director. It was James Cameron’s feature film directorial debut. Yeah…THAT JAMES CAMERON. Let’s see: TERMINATOR, TERMINATOR 2, ALIENS, THE ABYSS, TITANIC, and AVATAR, among others. Oh yeah: he also got fired from the job, but stuck around long enough to assist and, when stricken with food poisoning, dreams the script for TERMINATOR.

There ain’t much to tell about this piece of garbage. It’s set in the Caribbean island, we have a bunch of really cardboard characters, a cast of mostly unknowns(with the exception of  Lance Henriksen and soap star Ricky Paull Goldin) you have never heard of and flying piranhas!

We jump ahead to 1995 where Roger Corman produced a remake for Showtime. As in the original, it features the little creatures making their way to the Lost River Lake Resort. It is notable only that it is filled with more B actors from my past. GREATEST AMERICAN HERO star William Katt, PUNKY BREWSTER’s Soleil Moon Frye, Monte Markham, and Mila Kunis. Thhis thing was so cheaply made that Corman, last of the Big Time Spenders, recycled the special effects from the original. 
 
And that takes us to the movie that led me down this road in the first place: PIRANHA 3DD. This 2012 film is a directly sequel to the 2010 film. It’s directed by John Gulager, who at least at the sense of casting his father Clu Gulager in the film.

The film begins one year after the massacre at Lake Victoria and the once prosperous community is pretty much in tough shape as the tourism market has gone way south.  Two farmers, played by Gary Busey and Clu Gulager, come across a dead cow that has piranha babies inside. Yeah…they’re both gone really quickly. Well this really sleazy guy decides to open an adult water park, much to the dismay of his marine biologist daughter. It doesn’t take long before things start happening. One couple dies after their van ends up in the water and they get served as lunch. Someone else has a piranha swims inside her and it latches itself onto her boyfriend’s penis during sex, leading him to castrate himself. The girl and her non-boyfriend friend go to visit Christopher Lloyd, who has his own piranha that he keeps in captivity. “Big Wet” opens with a secret: it’s pulling water from the underground river where the piranhas live. No matter-it’s a celebration. A legless Ving Rahmes is there escorted by Paul Scheer, who is trying to break the Deputy of his fear of the water. Also on the scene: celebrity Life Guard David Hasselhoff.

The Hoff

Well, it’s not long before the fish make their way into the pool and carnage ensues! It’s up to the biologist and her non-boyfriend/boyfriend to save the day. And then Christopher Lloyd chimes in to say that his piranha has gotten loose and the fish have learned to walk. There’s a final gruesome moment which I won’t spoil and then, in a post credit scene, we see The Hoff running on a beach as an advertisement for a film titled FISHHUNTER.

"GET ME MY LEGS..."

This film so totally rocks! I nearly wet myself during the film’s final 30-45 minutes. You have a cast that includes Busey, Guluger, Lloyd, Hasselhoff, Scheer, semi-Scream Queen Danielle Panabaker, David Koechner, and of course, Ving Rhames, who, along with Hasselhoff, TOTALLY steals this movie. How do you OUTDO Rhames with a boat motor killing fish? You amp it up, give him titanium leg pipes and a very big gun! How do you outdo the gore and nudity of the first one? By having that much more gore and slow motion nude implants! How do you OUTDO the pornographer of the first film? You have David Koechner be as out as sleazy as you can imagine (“Double D’s gets in for FREE!”).

"I HATE Fish!"

This film has it all, while totally maintaining it’s tongue within its’ cheek! We have a piranha latching onto a poor kid’s penis and he cuts it off with a carving knife. If that wasn’t bad enough, his girlfriend goes looking for him, steps on the fish and the penile head squirts out (yeah…that must have been a TREAT in 3D!). We have The Hoff totally living up to his reputation as a ladies man by having not one but TWO girls in his hotel room as he composes the infectious song NIGHTHUNTER. We have a cow farting out fish babies! We have a whole commentary on social media that slides under the radar unless you read between the lines. We have Ving Rhames uttering the classic line: “Bring me my legs!” And David Hasselhoff actually making a rescue! We have one of the characters having to have a piranha pulled out of his butt!

I cannot recommend this movie enough! It is the laugh riot that you have been waiting for. It is so over the top that MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000 would have a FIELD DAY if the show was still on! Do yourself the favor: buy it, rent it, RedBox it, Netflix it…whatever you must do!

DC's NEW 52 MONTH 18, Part 2

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #2: The issue begins with a mysterious man recruits a very confused Scarecrow into his organization. Despite the way it looked last issue, it appears Green Arrow will survive his encounter with the Secret Society of Super Villains. And that means, despite the drama, it is time for the team members to meet each other and be introduced to the world by the President. Of course, that also means Hawkman needs to clean the blood off of him and Catwoman, a known criminal,  must stay behind the scene. Martian Manhunter gets inside Green Arrow’s head and learns that he infiltrated the Society and then was attacked by what appears to be a mechanized Batman. Arrow awakens and finds out that Steve Trevor has a new team and Arrow is not being invited to be on it. The team, minus Queen, heads out to unlock the mystery of the Society only to be captured by a mechanized trinity of heroes:  Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman. In the back-up, we see how the Martian Manhunter convinces the President why America needs another Justice League. 

The second issue of this title continues on the path of the first with Steve Trevor calling the shots AFTER Amanda Waller tells him what to call.  It’s obvious Geoff Johns knows how to write a good super team story. After all, he’s had 18 months to get it right on the initial JUSTICE LEAGUE title. And we all know what kind of work David Finch does. What will be interesting is to see how long he stays on the title as he does have a tendency to bail early on books. I have to say I don’t know how much faith I’m going to have in this book. I look at the lineup and immediately my mind goes to the disastrous Detroit Team of the Nineties…you know, the one that the last Vibe was on. Hawkman needed a place to go with his book gone and DC wanted to bring Vibe back into the fold(God knows why) along with Stargirl. But everyone else HAS their own gig or HAD their own gig.The back-up by Matt Kindt and Scott Clark is nothing nmore than page filler to me. I really didn’t know that it took Martian Manhunter from stopping an assassination attempt on Barack Obama to get him to buy into this team.

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA’S VIBE #2:  Our hero questions why he was chosen to be a part of the Justice League of America and so does his brother, who now knows his secret. His handler, Agent Gunn, thinks it was a bad idea but you can’t put the Genie back in the bottle at this point. A very ugly alien shows up sees a news report about the country of Kahndaq and a terrorist group called The Sons of Adam and the “controversial Stagg Industries Refinery”. When the phrase “A.R.G.U.S.” is heard, the alien attacks. Vibe is called in to find the alien with his powers and does so. The alien surrenders and presents a scroll to Vibe just before being gunned down by Agent Gunn. The scroll ends up with Amanda Waller and she has Gypsy read it. Apparently, it is in her native language and from her father. The note is asking her to come home, which is something Waller is in no hurry to do. Next Vibe gets introduced to the world with the rest of the JLA by the President while Amanda sets up plans to have Vibe fight Kid Flash to prove he’s really a hero.

Okay, the book went from interesting to dumb with this issue. This guy is the least heroic hero and his brother is just annoying. Add in Agent “Shoot first and ask questions later” Gunn doing his best “New Nick Fury” imitation and it gets clichéd real fast. And I think I know what it was I liked the most about the first issue: Amanda Waller’s “Circus”. The book gets really good when we meet Gypsy and last issue it was the mystery of Darkseid’s daughter. When those elements come into play, the book gets good. Other than that, Vibe is a cardboard character just like his predecessor. I also didn’t care for the uneven artwork by Pete Woods and Andres Guinaldo. What I DID fine nice was Goeff Johns mirroring the events of the introduction in this book AND JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA. And I have to ask how much of this story was Johns and how much was co-writer Andrew Kreisberg.

NIGHTWING #18: Dick Grayson is having a hard time dealing with the deatgh of Damian Wayne. He eventually meets with Sonia, who has been calling his cell phone non-stop. He meets with batman who tells him of someone auctioning off his father’s costume most recently defaced by the Joker. Nightwing arrives at the secret auction in time to stop someone from buying his father’s suit, but not before the mysterious Dealer sets the place on fire. Dick Hs a decision: rescue some bidders who were trying to kill him or save the suit. Of course, he saves the people and the relic from his father goes up in spoke. The next day, Dick visits Damian’s grave and leaves a remembrance on his tomb. Later he meets with Sonia and tells her of his recent loss. She reveals to him that her father, Tony Zucco, is still alive and part of some criminal organization in Chicago. Looks like it’s time for a road trip.

Kyle Higgins does a nice job of expressing Dick’s feelings of loss and frustration regarding Damian and then his parents. To top that off by bringing Tony Zucco into the ix is sheer genius. This will surely lead to Dick Grayson pulling up stakes and setting up home, at least temporarily, in Chicago. It’s a good move that gets Dick out of Gotham and into a new locale. And it’s not like you can send him to Bludhaven as apparently that doesn’t exist in the new continuity. The art by Juan Jose Ryp is nice and clean and full of action where needed.

PHANTOM STRANGER #6:  In his search to find the answers of where his family has gone and who was responsible, The Phantom Stranger ends up in Las Vegas: “Sodom and Gomorrah with neon signs and all you can eat buffets”. A prostitute approaches him and hands him her cell phone. Dr. Thirteen is on the other end. Thirteen tells the Stranger to go to a specific place in the Lucky Devil Casino where there is a game of high stakes poker going on. The demon players are Belial (the King of Lies), Suge, and Ruskoff(both of whom are Trigon’s sons). His silver necklace buys his way into the game and the talk is over who might have kidnapped his family. It is even suggested that raven may have done it based on what The Stranger did to her. Belial, Suge and Ruskoff all decide to fold for no apparent reason. It appears Deadman was the cause of that and he has learned that the demons three know nothing about the missing family members. After the encounter, The Stranger gets another phone call from Dr. Thirteen. He tells The Stranger to get back to his lab right now or it will be the end of everything for his family.

Okay…that was a fairly dumb issue! All it managed to do was introducing the three demons and tell us they knew nothing. It also shows us that Deadman survived the current adventure in JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK. It also shows that J. M. DeMatteis has a penchant for some really cornball stuff every now and then. A perfect example: the whole Sodom and Gomorrah bit. And then we throw in some humor by having prostitutes with cell phones being the method of communication between The Stranger and Doctor Thirteen. The true highlight of this issue is the artistic combination of Zander Cannon and Gene Ha that so reminds me of their work on TOP 10 some years back. This book will get a title change in June to TRINITY OF SIN: THE PHANTOM STRANGER as it will have a companion book in TRINITY OF SIN: PANDORA. Can a TRINITY OF SIN: THE QUESTION be far behind?


RED HOOD AND THE OUTLAWS:#18: Jason Todd finds himself dealing with various nightmares as his sleep is haunted as a result of his recent acid attack by the Joker. Meanwhile, Bruce suffers the guilt of all of this, believing this to be all his fault. Bruce shares a moment or two talking to his comatose former partner while Jason battles the Joker in his nightmare. While Bruce takes his hand in this world, the same happens in the dream world, only Jason is dressed as Wingman. Jason wakes, attempts to apologize but is silenced by Bruce who takes him into his arms. 

Scott Lobdell manages to take the former hero turned villain turned anti-hero and turn him fully into a hero once again. All the bad blood that existed since A DEATH IN THE FAMILY melts away. *SIGH*-REALLY!? Okay-nice ending here but REALLY! Maybe it’s me. If my mentor failed to save me and then POSSIBLY endangered myself and most of those I love and/or respect, I don’t think I would be THAT forgiving. but this is comics and anything can happen. The story is nice; it allows Batman to apologize and Jason Todd to exorcise himself from his demons. And Tyler Kirkman does a good job on the art. So…does the next issue become WINGMAN AND THE OUTLAWS? Personally, if you are going to turn Red Hood totally to a face(as they say in the wrestling business), let’s just loose the Starfire/Roy Harper love story, stick her in TEEN TITANS and send him over to play kiss and make-up with GREEN ARROW. Then we can call this book RED HOOD WAR JOURNAL or something silly like that!

RED LANTERNS #18: Rankorr goes on a picnic with the woman he rescued last month. he wonders should he abandon the ring and try to return to his former life. Bleez appears, scaring the woman away. Meanwhile, Volthoom decides to offer Atrocitus a chance at a different reality by showing him what his life would have been like had the Manhunters not attacked. It seems that Atros would have eventually become the ruler of his people. But, in this alternate timeline, Atros becomes an evil ruler who kills anyone who opposes him, even his wife. Atros is eventually assassinated by his own son. Volthoom gains power from this as Atrocitus realizes that his life would not have been a happy one either way. Then he offers the Red Lantern the choice of which reality he'd prefer.  Atrocitus chooses to have Ryutt destroyed while Volthoom takes possession of the "Great Heart". As he leaves, Atrocitus is told he is responsible for the fate of his people and he orders the Red Lanterns to hunt him down and destroy him.

While I know the story of IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE and was a big fan of Marvel’s WHAT IF, points to Peter Milligan for what is probably his best single issue yet of this title. And, in doing so, he finally gets to the center of Atrocitus’ character. He is doomed by whatever action he chooses. So now he chooses a fate where he becomes the victim. And we get artwork from the totally amazing Miguel Sepulveda. For once, I can actually call this a recommended title again.

SUICIDE SQUAD #18:  Yo-Yo’s sister Red Orchid is in league with Regulus who, like Yo-Yo, is supposed to be dead. Yo-Yo finds the package and removes the bag from his head. Amanda Waller, watching it all through camera-equipped contact lenses confirms that it is Kurt Lance. Lance’ power is to shut down super powers. A captured Deadshot spits in Regulus’ eye and he gleefully takes it as a sample. Yo-Yo turns to Harley Quinn for help and, following a kiss and a slap, she cuts herself free. She knocks Lance out with the butt end of her knife and now Yo-Yo's powers return. Deadshot grabs Kurt Lance and forces Waller to explain that Kurt Lance is a tracker of super-powers, and that he can turn them on or off at will. Red Orchid, powered by a sudden influx of water, uses her vines to capture the squad again. Regulus claims the retrieval of Kurt Lance is a personal vendetta for Waller. Before he can finish, Waller cuts the feed on the communicators and heads out into the field herself. With the package going out the door with Regulus, Yo-Yo decides it's time to make a sacrifice. Deadshot hits the nanobomb in Yo-Yo’s neck, which triggers the bomb, and both Yo-Yo and Red Orchid's heads explode.

Well, I would say this is the end of Yo-Yo, but we have seen him pull a Houdini before. Although it is kind of tough to escape from having your head blown off! And Kurt Lance, who we all believed to be dead, is alive and well. And that also means that Black Canary didn’t kill him. So how did he gain these powers? He certainly didn’t have them while Team 7 was active. All in all, Adam Glass is making the most of his last few issues. And Henrik Jonsson, while he doesn’t live up to past artists, is fitting in nicely.


SUPERMAN #18: We begin with Orion defeating a beast that is attacking the people of Behemoth. Highfather, ruler of New Genesis, calls him back home. Orion is taken to the Prophecy Wall and he is told that the explosion of Krypton unleashed a threat named Superman on the universe. Back on Earth, Superman has been called to a U.S. Senate hearing to discuss the existence of the Fortress of Solitude. They want the Fortress removed and Superman refuses. Later that night, Clark meets up with Cat Grant and she proposes ClarkCatTropolis: a website where they can publish news independently. Clark thinks it’s a bad idea but promises Cat that he will talk to Morgan Edge about getting her job back at the Daily Planet. Suddenly people at this club begin jumping off the rooftop. Superman finds a mysterious signal coming from the DJ's sound system and destroys it with his heat vision. Meanwhile, over at S.T.A.R. Labs, Hector Hammond has once again regained his ability to dream. 

Scott Lobdell gives us a nice story that, after the whole H’el story, is a breath of fresh air. Sorry, I REALLY hated H’EL ON EARTH. So, anything is better than that was. But here we go again (PET PEEVE TIME). Art is by Aaron Kuder on pages 1-4, and 17-20(the Orion storyline), Tyler Kirkham on pages 5-9 (Superman at the Senate) and Robson Rocha for pages 10-16. Three artists on one book? Please refer to the classic of this genre!

  
SWAMP THING #18: As the Parliament of Decay prepare Swamp Gthing for his final journey, Arcane prepares to take Abby’s life. Alec arrives in time, tears Arcane in half and saves Abby's life. Abby warns he will reform unless the Parliament of Decay gets another avatar and she is the only acceptable candidate to become the Avatar of Death. To do that, she must die, which Alec does not want to accept. Arcane of the Rotworld returns to the present and devours his torn apart body, then heads to the Parliament's chamber. Sadly, Alec pierces through Abby's chest with his vines and kills her. Arcane rushes in and, despite a convincing argument, Alec impales him too. But not before his human self is mortally wounded by Arcane. Although Arcane thinks he has won, Abby is now the Avatar of Death in his place and he is destroyed by the Parliament. Alec awakens in the Parliament of Trees and they convince him to continue to be the earth's Swamp Thing. They allow Abby to visit for a short time. She has placed their human bodies here, where they can rest together. They kiss one last time before she leaves. Despite it all, the man who once was Alec Holland will remain the Swamp Thing. 

Scott Snyder is getting good at writing really depressing, emotional work. First his entire run on BATMAN and now this. Welcome to the tragedy of Abigail Arcane and Alec Holland. They are star crossed lovers destined to only be together in death. They are the Romeo and Juliet of the New Millennium. Snyder’s tale of death and destruction throughout the ROTWORLD arc has been terrific and now it ends like this. Swamp Thing will carry on as the defender of the green while Abby carries on as the Avatar of Death. Terrific stuff! And let me just add that Yanick Paquette’s work is probably the best of his career!

 
TEAM 7 #6: The team heads to the Advanced Prosthetic Research Centre where Caitlin Fairchild works. As they head in, a mechanical monster cuts into the aircraft, mortally wounding Summer Ramos, who manages to bring the ship down before dying. The death shakes Amanda Waller as this is the first time she has lost anyone in the field. Once inside, we see that the place is filled with human-cybernetic hybrids chanting:  "Caitlin, help me?" The team finds Caitlin, who has been taken over by the cybernetic enhancements. She responds to her father by shoving her fist through his chest, killing him. Slade and Cole Cash pursue her and, realizing she is no longer Caitlin Fairchild, Slade shoots her through the head. The former Doctor Hank Henshaw arrives and he too has been taken over by the Spartan programming. He explains that James Bronson was the target all along. Bronson is on leave with his family when the Spartan Subject arrives. It initiates its’ core transfer, destroying the building in the process. All appear dead except for Bronson, who is now merged with Spartan.

After the first few issues, I was pretty disappointed with this title. After all, this is set in the early days of the NEW 52 Universe and it would be nice to see how some of these characters got their start. It’s been a bumpy road and now it is a confusing, winding road that is about to end as DC has pulled the plug. Six issues in and NOW we start killing off characters. How does Caitlin Fairchild die now? Isn’t she running around in THE RAVAGERS? And does Hank Henshaw ever become the cyborg Superman in this Universe? And why do we have Cole Cash dying on the cover when THAT NEVER HAPPENS INSIDE THIS BOOK! ARRGGGHHH!!! We have a good story by Justin Jordan and Alixe Pascal that still leaves me praying for this title to end. Sorry DC: if you would have done this thing properly, it wouldn’t be getting the axe!

TEEN TITANS #18: Tim Drake is feeling the loss of his adoptive brother. Tim imagines Damian is with him and encourages him to do everything he can to protect other teen superheroes from meeting his fate. A week passes and Superboy arrives to ask for a place on the team and Tim agrees, despite concerns from the others. He gathers the team and they have a news assignment: protecting super-powered teens. Their first mission is to save a girl named Tabitha Munse from the government-specifically Belle Reve. The team attempts to break in so Amanda Waller sends the Suicide Squad after them, to little avail. Red Robin confronts her and says he has known about Kurt Lance following them for weeks. He also explains that he is here to cut a deal to benefit both groups. The battle between the two teams ends when Waller says so and the Titans realize that Tabitha Munse never existed. It was all a ruse by Red Robin to get them inside. And, if that wasn’t enough, Trigon arrives in Times Square.

Well, that was a busy if not confusing issue! Scott Lobdell again provides us with wacky plots and dumb dialogue and I’m about at the end of my rope with this one. Red Robin is on a crusade to save super powered teens. Here’s a concept: stay out of the super-hero business until you’re older! And while you’re at it, lying to your team is probably a bad idea regarding trust issues. And I haven’t even mentioned the guy that wants to eat Solstice to cure his condition! This is one roller coaster that is only made palatable by the artwork of Eddy Barrows and Rodney Buchemi. Next month was supposed to be WTF month at DC. I’m afraid it already may be here.

WONDER WOMAN #18: Hermes and Wonder Woman fight over Zola’s kidnapped  baby. She is no match for him but, before he can deliver a killing blow, Orion arrives in a boom tube and takes her away. We learn that he was able to track her because he collected her DNA when he slapped her backside earlier.. Just as Hermes begins to gain on them, the pair come to a sudden stop sending him flying into Demeter’s Real Meanwhile, the First Born faces his Poseidon, who swallows his nephew in one gulp and Cassandra too. War confronts Demeter, rips open her wooden belly and removes Zola’s baby. Wonder Woman and Orion arrives and is told that War has taken the child. Orion and Diana return to Manhattan and find War has returned Zola's baby to her. Discov ering the child is a boy, Orion comments that if he is called upon to kill it, it is easier for him than it would be if it were a girl. 

Brian Azzarello brings the epic that has been playing out piece by piece since the first issue to an end. For die hard fans of the mythology, it is has been a love/hate relation shio. For the rest of us, it has been a wild ride through a character who has had her ups and downs over the years. What is disappointing about this conclusion is gthe jumbler of srtist working on the issue. We have Goran Sudzuka handling pages 4,5,8,9,10, 13,14,15,16, and 17 and Cliff Chiang finishing the tale with the final three pages of the story. In the midst of all of this, we have Tony Akins providing the layouts and Dan Green finishing for pages 1-3, 6, 7, 11 and 12. I have railed about this many times ragrdinging many books/ Whatever happened to the days of having an art team, let’s says Jack Kirby and Joe Sinnott, work on a book, even several books, month in and month out with scarcely a filler here or there. And we have computers now too…

WORLDS’ FINEST #10:  Power Girl is pretty ticked off that the folks from Holt Industries have attacked Starr Island to steal back what she stole from Michael Holt to begin with. So she has been destroying Holt Industries sites on the West Coast and making it look like they were caused by natural disasters. Unfortunately, one of her attacks causes unexpected collateral damage. Huntress breaks into Micheal's old office and is attacked by his T-Spheres. Evading them, she receives a call from Kara that immediately takes her to Gotham City. Once there, she visits the grave of her not-brother where she is observed by The Dark Knight himself. Back at Holt Industries, the police have their investigation cut short by Aleeka Musgrave who insists their own investigators will handle this. When they question her authority, she calls for Michael who appears and says that she speaks for him. I thought he was missing…?

Paul Levitz turns in another great issue here as the line that Power Girl walks becomes thinner and her life becomes more complicated. She borders between being a hero and an anti-hero; she’s Robin Hood to serve her own needs. And Levitz has managed to take the cardboard Huntress he wrote about in her mini-series and make her real, suffering the loss of Damien Wayne and the trepidation about meeting this world’s Bruce Wayne. Kevin Maguire’s art rocks as always and adds great life to the feel of the title. The book has had its ups and downs over the last few months, but now seems to be on the right track with the addition of the Michael Holt mystery.

DC'S NEW 52, MONTH 18, Part 1

ACTION COMICS #18: While Superdoom and Lex Luthor battle, Superman battles the Anti-Superman Army. K-Man Red's red Kryptonite causes hallucinations where Superman battles Vyndktvx. Meanwhile, Lois and Jimmy meet the Legion of Super-Heroes in Mr Mxyzptlk’s room at Metropolis General Hospital. Ferlin Nyxly, the magician's son, arrives and blames him for the death of his mother many years ago. In actuality, Ferlin is a broken version of Vyndktvx. Myxzptlk says the only way to stop the villain is with a trick. Back at the battle, Susie Tompkins calls for help from the Wanderers: a team led by Captain Comet and the Oort-Kind. They quickly take out the Anti-Superman Army and convert Erik Drekken to their side. As Superman starts to fade in battle, he realizes that all time is one in the Fifth Dimension. While he can’t get Vyndktvx to say his own name backwards, he can make everyone else say their name backwards, and banish him. Suddenly the villain is gone and Superdoom has begun a self destruct sequence. The Man of Steel picks up the doomsday device and flies away. In a fairy tale interlude told to young Kal-El, we learn that Vyndktvx was accused of murdering the Crying King-Thing of Brpzx. The princess married Mxyzptlk, thus saving the kingdom. One day, she died in labor, leaving the king, two baby boys and a baby girl. The boys were sent away, but the daughter remained with her father and was named for her mother Nyxlygzptlnz. Back in the present, Superman is visited by Mrs Nxyly who agrees to grant him one wish and it has to involve the color red. On Mars, the astronauts believed dead from the Metaleks and the Multitude are alive. In the back-up, it’s a silent tale of the 23rd century, a bully changes his way based on the idea of "What Would Superman Do?" 

Welcome to Grant Morrison’s swan song from ACTION COMICS. This story was one of the weirdest in recent memory. We have Mxyzptlk became a Jewish comedian and a good guy who is dying in a hospital bed. Vyndktvx(VINDICTIVE…GET IT!?) is now the new 5^th dimension bed guy. Elements of Superman’s past DC Universe life show up in hallucinations and the whole thing got really, REALLY confusing. But when all is said and done, the past is changed and the Mars colony lives. Brad Walker and Rags Morales do a great job of handling the artwork. As far as the back-up goes: filler…no more and no less. So now we get ready for the well-hyped era of Andy Diggle and Tony S. Daniel(well hyped as in preview pages in many DC Comics). Oh wait: Diggle has quit the title and now it’s the Tony S. Daniel show. Should be interesting to see where this goes.

ANIMAL MAN #18:  We begin in Blestemat with the Parliament of Decay explaining how Anton Arcane had offset the balance between The Red, Green and The Rot. Buddy Baker and Swamp Thing are sent through the realm of death to set things right. They are immediately separated, with Buddy seeing all the corrupted heroes he had to kill to get to here. He lands near the family’s RV and is attacked by The Rot. Fighting them off, he tracks his family to the barn where Maxine has agreed to give herself to the Hunters Three to save her family. Buddy arrives and she burns the hunters. Buddy battles them and they eventually realize all is lost and send William Arcane to his apparent death. Maxine uses the power of The Red to heal the hunters, turning them back into two humans who ask questions about Project Taproot and an Ascension chamber. William Arcane rises up and attempts to kill Buddy. Cliff intervenes and is stabbed in the chest, dying a hero in his father’s arms.

Jeff Lemire and Steve Pugh bring this epic to a close and it is truly a satisfying masterpiece. I can honestly say I never saw this ending coming. The cover teased a death, but I honestly thought it would be Buddy’s wife. And just what is Project taproot and the Ascension chamber? This is truly a pinnacle in storytelling. Thanks guys!

ALL STAR WESTERN #18: Last issue, Jonah Hex and Dr. Amadeus Arkham went into the quarantined neighborhood to try and rescue Catherine Wayne. The pair end up in a hidden room behind a bar where they meet the bartender Blackburn and a woman named Mille who believes her baby doll is her baby. They beg to be freed but Hex refuses although Blackburn reveals he has a case of German hunting pistols. Arkham discovers Catherine but Savage is not far behind. Hex fires at Savage who deflects the bullets. Savage launches into a soliloquy which leads Hex to blasts him in the chest with a shotgun. Although everyone thinks Savage and is buried in Slaughter Swamp, we all know he is immortal and very alive. Returning home, Arkham finds a letter from Hex stating he is leaving Gotham. But, that evening Arkham bursts into Hex’ train car, with the intention of turning Hex’ life into a buddy movie. Hex gives the doctor ten seconds to get himself and his bags off the train. In the back-up, Dr. Terrence Thirteen meets Adam One who offers him a chance to see that the supernatural is real.


Jimmy Palmitotti, Justin Gray and Moritat do their usual kick-ass job on the lead story which manages to break-up the “bromance” between Arkham and Hex. And thus we leave Gotham and Vandal Savage behind. Regarding the back-up story by Gray and Staz Johnson: I can do without $3.99 for a book with a back-up that I could care less about. I understand that this is the set-up to the Stormwatch of the day, but I don’t care. Make this a storyline in the regular STORMWATCH book and not stick it here.

AQUAMAN #18: Aquaman, now the King of Atlantis, has been gathering his followers and having them traveling around the world confiscating Atlantean weapons from humans who have purchased from a fence known as the Scavenger. He meets with his half-sister Tula and assures her that he won’t allow the surface world to kill Orm. Aquaman visits Vulko, who confirms that The Scavenger is the person responsible for selling these weapons. Meanwhile, Mera is having her own troubles as she bails on the local police so she can go feed her dog. But they won’t get to arrest her because the King of the Seven Seas shows up in Maine.

Geoff Johns continues his amazing run on this title and the momentum shows no signs of slowing down. The dialogue is crisp, and the story is compelling, especially since not all of Arthur’s followers are truly convinced that he is the right thing for Atlantis. Paul Pelletier has done a great job stepping into Ivan Reus’ shoes without missing an artistic beat. And now it looks like Poseidon has arrived, fresh out of WONDER WOMAN? Yeah-this book continues to get interesting with each issue.

BATGIRL #18: Firebug has been torching buildings in Gotham and batgirl is on the scene to try and save some lives. Her brother James watches as the she is in collapses, killing its residents, and burying her. Those who she could save begin to dig through the wreckage and manage to get her free. Commissioner Gordon meets with the batman upon the roof of GCPD and is told the news of Robin’s death. The Commissioner calls Barbara and tells her the news. She calls Dick Grayson to talk, but he is too busy and promises to call her later. While she analyzes the accelerant used in the fires, James, Jr. calls and says he is happy she didn’t die because he will kill her soon. She challenges him to come at her and he promises to be right over. In actuality, James, Jr. goes to the hospital where his mother is and finds she isn't there. Meanwhile, Batgirl tracks Firebug to a military surplus store, beats him into submission and leaves him for the police. She tracks her brother’s phone signal to an abandoned house where she finds a room with a bat pinned to the wall and written in blood "Hello Barbara. Nice Try,” His phone is tied to the bat, as he is watching from across the street. He calls his mother and demands she meet him or he will kill Barbara, and make their father eat her.

Okay, so I will be the first to admit that I miss Gail Simone but Ray Fawkes has done a great job on this title, filling in until Simone comes back.  Somehow, I don’t see her having James Jr. threatens to make his father EAT his own daughter, but it makes for some really disgusting imagery. Daniel Sampere handles the art side of the ledger and it looks really nice. Although all of the bat titles have set high standards for themselves, this is the one title that has taken it’s share of abuse as fans want to know how Babs Gordon suddenly learned how to walk again. But, for me, it’s a fun read. And James Jr. is certainly a C.L.B.(Creepy Little Bastard!)

BATMAN #18: Harper and Cullen (go back to the Court of Owls storyline and check on her debut) visit their father in Blackgate Prison, where we discover he is a bully to even his own kids. Afterwards, Harper goes back to tracking Batman, who has been in a foul mood since the death of his son. Harper can see his obvious pain and empathize based on her personal pain. She observes batman in the fight with a pack of dogs on Venom and chases the creatures away with a high frequency whistle. She tries to convince The Dark Knight that she has been training and he proceeds to punch her in the face and break her nose. After the incident, Harper makes plans to make her way to see Bruce Wayne to get a message to Batman. She shows Wayne some blueprints she believes Batman would be interested in. Later that night, Batman comes to see Harper and apologize for breaking her nose. She has a message worked into the lighting system of Wayne Tech. he only sees the first letter: “R”.

The REQUIEM tie-ins continue and we may be looking at the first true glimpse of the new Robin in action. Yeah…I said it. While Harper would not be the FIRST female Robin(remember Stephanie Brown in the old DCU), she would move closer to the archetypal Robin from THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS. We get a great story from Scott Snyder and Andy Kubert and then the art style changes after the nose breaking incident. This now becomes Chapter Two and is by Snyder, James Tynion IV  and Alex Maleev(he of DAREDEVIL fame). I have a problem with the sudden art style jump, but what can you do? Maybe Maleev is poised for some future work. All I know is his Batman has a head piece very reminiscent of the old 30’s Batman.

BATMAN AND ROBIN #18: Bruce Wayne is troubled my the death of his son. He divides his time between staring into the fire with Damian’s bedroll nearby and looking through his notebooks and admiring the sketches. Alfred is unable to contain his grief as he stares at the unfinished family portrait sitting in the library. Bruce covers it and removes it from the room. That night, Bruce slides down the poles to the Batcave and imagines Damian beside him. He gazes at the case containing Damian's costume and equipment and then heads on patrol, haunted by the memory of his lost son. After a night of taking his grief out on the criminals of Gotham, he returns home, showers, and undresses. He finds a sealed letter addressed to him from Damian. The letter, among other things, says that even though his mother may have given him life, it was his father who taught him how to live. He collapses to the floor, cuddles Damian’s costume and cries.

Peter J. Tomasi and Pat Gleason take what could have been an average issue and elevate it to a true classic. Why? The entire issue is told without a single word, a single thought balloon or a single line of dialogue. This silent movie is totally breathtaking in it’s pathos and beauty. This is an absolutely amazing issue that is truly a masterpiece in the Batman pantheon. If I had my way, I’d nominate it for an Eisner!

BATMAN THE DARK KNIGHT #18:  Bruce is pursuing the Mad Hatter by investigating his various holdings, once of which is a night club called the Wild Hare. That night Batman breaks in where he finds Deever Tweed, who used to be Tweedle-Dee before Batman took him out and left him a cripple. Batman warns he will do it again if he ever ends up on the wrong side of the law again. Batman ends up at one of the centers for Hatter's operations, filled with weapons and various types of teas with different properties. Tetch surprises him and knocks him out with a pipe. When he wakes up, he gets conked on the head again, this time by Catwoman. She attempts to seduce him, b ut he turns her away. Meanwhile, the Mad Hatter checks in on the progress of his play and knows all he has left to do is cast his Alice. It seems a young Jervis Tetch was rejected by his true Alice. He searches for this girl for his play and finds she has changed so he puts her out of her misery by beating her to death with a steam iron. Meanwhile, Bruce shows up at Natalaya’s door and leaps into the waiting Batplane with her too. He flies her back to the Batcave and explains this is who he is.

Holy revelations Batman! The Mad Hatter is a crazy guy who kills her first crush with an iron. And Bruce Wayne’s current crush now knows his secret because HE revealed it to her. Gregg Hurwitz is writing one absolutely tremendous story and Ethan Van Sciver is truly doing the best work of his career. This book, which was floundering under David Finch’ direction, is now flourishing with new life. Awesome stuff!e

BATMAN INCORPORATED #9: Last month, we all watched as Damian Wayne met his death at the hands of his “brother”. This issue is divided between Damian’s funeral and the flashback surrounding the battle with the creature. Things are looking grim for our heroes when Red Robin shows up with the tank and saves the day. Nightwing takes up Robin’s body and they all head to the Batcave. The Mayor of Gotham announces that Batman and his team after no longer welcome in Gotham City. Over in London, Knight is given a hero’s funeral and Squire decides to take up his mantle. Eventually, in a touching moment with BatCow, Batman breaks down.

Grant Morrison isn’t ready to put the toys back in the toy box, as he promises to do once his story arc is concluded, but until then, he is shaking up the mythos. He has killed Knight, Robin and who knows who is left before he is done. Talia? Maybe! And of course we let Chris Burnham cut loose with the artwork. This is a great book which may not have a future when it is done, as there will soon be a NEW Batwing in the form of Lucias Fox Jr.

BATWOMAN #18: For reasons unknown to her father, Batwoman has been tracking Mister Freeze across Gotham City and it culminates with a battle between Batwoman, Hawkfire and Freeze. The DEO has told Batwoman to get one of Freeze’s weapons or they will pin terrorism charges on her father. Hawkfire’s inexperience leads to her getting  her feet frozen to the ground. She gets free and it leads to ice shards crippling Freeze. Batman arrives and insists that she turn over the weapon to him. Instead, she smashes it on the ground. Agent Chase meets with Director Bones and he assigns her a partner in the form of Agent Asaf. He’s an expert in Psych Ops and plans on raising the bar. At home, Jacob’s wife has found Bette’s bloody costume and warms him that he is going to get Bette and Kate killed. Meanwhile, Agent Chase meets with the person Director Bones ordered her to contact; someone she hasn’t seen in two years. 

J. H. Williams III and W. Haden Blackman begin the next chapter in the lives of the Kanes. After the last rambling saga, we shall see where this one goes. What devious plan does Director Bones have in mind? Who is the mysterious person meeting with Agent Chase? Just what does Agent Asaf bring to the table? And now that Batman is involved, how long before he forces Batwoman and  Hawkfire into Batman Incorporated, especially since there have been a few losses as of late. Personally, I am excited for the next few chapters, especially now that Batwoman and Maggie Sawyer are official. On the downside, Trevor McCarthy’s art isn’t J. H. Williams III. But it could be worse, so it’s a good issue overall.

BIRDS OF PREY #18: Mister Freeze has captured Talon Henry Ballard and is torturing him to gain information about the Court of Owls. Ballard refuses to betray the Court and Freeze has him executed. Batgirl has convinced Black canary to let Strix stay at her dojo, although she has apprehensions, especially when both Strix and Dinah seem to have control issues. Dinah heads to a café and meets a ninety-nine year old woman named Miz Ettie who offers her advice on forgiveness. She heads back to the dojo and is soon joined by the others, who insist they were called there by a text message from Dinah although she claims she never sent a message. Mr. Freeze arrives and insists they hand over Strix. During the ensuing battle, Freeze kidnaps Starling. Soon they get a call warning that if they do not bring Strix “to the place she was reborn”, Starling will be killed.

Boy…Mr. Freeze sure gets around this month, doesn’t he? First Batwoman is beating him up and now he’s kidnapping Talons? This issue is a MAJOR MESS! We don’t know WHY Freeze wants talons. We don’t know why he settles for Starling (is he on Waller’s payroll perhaps?). We have taken plot threads left in the first 17 issues and tossed them aside. What happened to the back story involving Dinah and her husband? Why is there such a bond between Strix and Batgirl? What is the deal with Condor, who shows up and seems to get in the way a whole lot? Christy Marx’ story is far from cohesive or exciting although Romano Molenaar’s art is nice. I can’t recommend this title anymore. The way I see it, the book needs to improve soon or I can’t see it lasting.

CATWOMAN #18: Batman and Catwoman are involved in a motorcycle riding brawl as he demands the paintings she and Gwen had stolen from the Gotham Museum be returned. After battling through their differences, the pair embraces and she promises to get the paintings back. Trip Winters watches the pair and he realizes he can never give her a job again. Back at home, Selina realizes that Detective Alvarez had suspected Gwen and probably has her in custody. Alvarez finds that evidence of Gwen's prints and he must let her go. Her lawyer and his associates, including Volt and the mysterious Joe Pazzo, take her to see the boss. That night, Catwoman steals the paintings back from the client and returns them to the museum. On the way home with his groceries, Joe Pazzo displays a set of devil horns we have never seen before.

Oh my God: what the heck is going on here? There really isn’t a whole lot more I can say about that. This book wants to be a romance tale with a villain trying to be a hero who thinks she’s Robin Hood. We have padded it with some interesting characters and some really cardboard ones. Volt was around for a few issues and gone and now back. Who is Joe Pazzo and why is he a devilish soul? I have been bumming since Selina’s roommate got murdered and the introduction of Gwen didn’t help to fully fill that void. Ann Nocenti’s story and dialogue leave a lot to be desired but Rafa Sandoval’s art is the highlight. I don’t know how much longer this can go on as it is. Oh wait: I know what happens next-we learn that Joe Pazzo is really Vandal Savage and Gwen gets sacrificed to Lucifer, bringing the Demon Knights into the 21^st century. Who knows, but it can’t be more cornball than this is. 

CONSTANTINE #1: Legendary magic man John Constantine has moved from Vertigo to the New 52 Universe and from London to New York City, where he lives beneath Dotty’s Pet Store. On his way home one night,  a young man named Chris approaches him and asks for Constantine’s help. Inside, Chris writes a message on an atlas. This shows the location of an item called Croyden's Compass-an item designed by a mad wizard who committed murder and cannibalism to power the device. The pair fly to Norway and Constantine is poisoned along the way by their stewardess. Gooing to the rest room, he is followed but wrestles the knife from her. It seems the Cult of the Cold Flame is trying to kill him yet again. They both toss curses at each other and his causes her to dissolve. Once they land, the pair go to a hotel of made ice that is at the exact location Chris pinpointed on the atlas. Constantine reaches into the fire of the chapel's torch and pulls out the needle of the compass. Chris begins groaning in pain about Sargon the Sorcerer and they are attacked by Sargon who possesses his daughter, Jaimini Sargent. She demands the needle or she will kill Chris. John uses magic to teleport away. In anger, she kills Chris with her magic. As she pursues him, Constantine creates several visions of himself to confuse her and makes his escape.

Jeff Lemire, Ray Fawkes and Renato Guedes first issue is a little on the rough side. The art itself is a little sketchy and not as fleshed out as I would have hoped for. These are two great writers who work well together and can take this renowned character to new levels. But their initial characterization of John Constantine is weak. And I find that surprising especially considering this pair is used to writing this character on JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK. He wears his guilt like a coat and doesn’t have the smart-ass attitude that we have grown to know and love. We shall see what issue two holds for it. 

DC UNIVERSE PRESENTS #18: We have a Starfire where she is battling to defend an alien race. Reminding her of her youth as a slave, she fights hard for these people until they decide she is more of a target for aliens to attack. Even Denika, the young alien girl who she has befriended, asks her to leave them, which she does. But an alien race is building an army and ready to rumble.

This book IS ending soon, right? I think so and this is one of the worst single issues in this anthology series. It is long, boring and badly written. Okay, I get that we’re featuring members of the RED HOOD cast in these last few issues, but at least the LAST issue had some pathos in it. This tries to mine some pathos and it falls flat on it’s face. I read it THREE TIMES to find something worth writing about. Joe Keatinge provides a lackluster plot but Federico Dallocchio gives us some really nice art. Will all this come to an end with a bang or a whimper? Tune in next month as the death knell rings a bell!

DEMON KNIGHTS #18: Last issue, Jason Blood got broken out of the prison where Vandal Savage had him. He led his group to Madame Xanadu so that she could give him back his mouth. She reverses the spell and Jason immediately asks her about the tales Savage would tell of her and Etrigan being romantically involved with each other. he decides he would rather be in Hell and speaks the chant which brings the demon back to our realm. Sir Ystin tells Etrigan about Cain and the team heads towards Themyscira. They arrive just in time to see Cain’s vampire army battling the Amazonians. The Amazons explain the only way to kill Cain’s minions is to stab them in the heart and then behead them, which Etrigan does with glee. But the demon is tired and now needs to return to Hell to recharge. Unfortunately, Jason Blood is unwilling to return, leaving Etrigan weak. Meanwhile, Vandal Savage has arrived and Cain’s army sails towards a battle.

Robert Vendetti and Bernard Chang weave what looks to be a wild and kinky little tale. It appears that Madame Xanadu was slaking her lusty thirst with Etrigan while the man she professed she loved toiled in Hell. So it’s no surprise that Jason Blood wants no part of her. As he mentions to Lucifer: he was tortured all sorts of ways by Vandal Savage. There isn’t much that Hell has that can truly compare. And how will the whole Paradise Island/Themyscira thing play out? What happens when Savage and Cain get together on an island ruled by Queen Hippolyta? When does Princess Diana arrive? This title has been very uneven over the last few months but this story arc could put some major spark back into it.

DETECTIVE COMICS #18: Set just after the Joker’s reign at Arkham, the villain formerly known as The Penguin manages to get free on a technicality. But during the chaos, crazed mass murderer Victor Zsasz manages to get free and he has a mission. One time he had been gambling at The Penguin’s Iceberg Casino and lost everything he had inherited from Zsasz Industries and his own assets. Penguin simply threw him out and now Zsasz wants revenge (as detailed in the back-up story). Penguin goes to the Gotham City Zoo where he retrieves some hidden weapons. Meanwhile, he finds that Ogilvy has taken over as Emperor Penguin, changing the name of the hospital wing from the Esther Cobblepot Children’s Center to the Ann Ogilvy Children’s Center. He also discovers he can no longer gain access to his mansion, as Ogilvy has moved in and locked it down. He goes to the Casino to take on Ogilvy, but batman arrives and has him arrested on evidence of trespassing, breaking and entering, and illegal arms possession: all from the Zoo incident. Cobblepot’s lawyers will be no help as Zsasz has killed them. Later, Emperor Penguin meets with a former member of the League of Assassins who delivers the Man-Bat Serum she has stolen from Talia al Ghul. In the backup, we get the tale of Zsasz prior to the breakout and how he gets a special two-hundred-year-old knife from Ogilvy.

John Layman and Jason Fabok knock this one out of the park, even though it basically serves to set up Ogilvy’s taking his place as the new Penguin. It also serves as the introduction of the Man Bat Serum in the NEW 52 Universe. Fabok’s art is simply spectacular and reminds me very much of the work of the legendary Paul Gulacy. As far as the back-up, by Layman and Henrik Johnson, goes: I could have done without it. All it does it allows us to see how Zsasz gains this special knife he plans to use to continue his killing spree. I never cared for the character in the old DCU and don’t really care for him here.

DIAL H #18: Nelson Jent, in the guise of the Glimpse, is under attack from both the Centipede and the Bristol Bloodhound. He is invisible to everyone except the Centipede and the Bloodhound. The Centipede shoots Jent in the leg and the Bloodhound grabs Jent and they escape together. They rendezvous Roxie and the Bloodhound transforms into Warrant Officer Mason Jones. Jones explains that he has been ordered to dial 7-4-3-3 for Hero. This spells "SIDE", causing Roxie and Nelson to realize this is a dial for sidekicks. Meanwhile, the Centipede files the documents he stole from Roxie's office in a warehouse full of Dial memorabilia. We learn that even Thomas Edison had been visited by an H-Dialler. Roxie and Nelson go out on patrol with Nelson being the sidekick. After a night of hero work, they return home and kiss passionately. 

China Meiville and Alberto Ponticelli continue to write the weirdest book in comics. Now that FRANKENSTEIN AGENT OF S.H.A.D.E. has gone away, this is the lone standard bearer of X-FILES weirdness (JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK is just a banding of the supernatural heroes and is nowhere as weird as this title). From issue to issue, I wonder what is in Meiville’s mind. Now we have a Warrant Officer who is subservient when the dial is used (can you say third wheel) and the romance I’ve been waiting for begins in earnest. Roxie and Nelson-star crossed lovers connected by the H-Dial. This is certainly not the DIAL H I grew up with and may not even be the title I signed up for. But it has enough quirks to keep me interested, especially now that The Centipede has a cool little centipede mask!

EARTH 2 #10:  We learn that two years ago, Kendra and Khalid were attacked while treasure hunting in a Egyptian tomb. Kendra was transformed with wings attached to her body while Khalid found himself called to the Helmet of Nabu. Today, Wotan explains that Khalid has gotten the powers of Nabu and Wotan wants them for himself. Since he had bouts of insanity after using the helmt, Khalid banished it to the Tower of Nabu. It is decided that The Flash will accompany Khalid into the tower or great harm will come to Jay’s mother. Once inside, the pair are attacked by the great beast of the tower. Meanwhile, Alan Scott visits the grave of his lover when Sam’s father arrives. He reveals he has heard rumors that it wasn’t Alan who was targeted in the attacks, but Sam. He travels to Louisiana where he meets up with Hawkgirl and asks for her assistance.

James Robinson continues to weave a rather unusual tale of the alternate Earth while  Nicola Scott and Trevor Scott handle the artistic end. I say “unusual” because, ten issues in to this title, I still have a hard time wrapping my brain around some of the characters.  Alan Scott is gay, Doctor Fate is going to be someone named Khalid, The Atom works for “the man” and Jay Garrick is young as opposed to the speedster with the silver temples we all know and love. That is not to say that I don’t think this has the makings of being a great title. James Robinson is an expert when it comes to Earth 2 and he has great respect for those characters.  I don’t expect him, as a fan and a writer, that he will do anything that would change that respect.

GREEN ARROW #18: Since being framed for the murder of Emerson in the last issue, Oliver Queen has been hiding out in a shipping container thanks to the help of a blind man named Magus. Magus has advised him to leave Seattle and head to Black Mesa. Queen calls Steve Trevor, who promises to give him 48 hours before he calls in the Justice League of America. Meanwhile, Komodo digitally attends a Stellmoor Industries board meeting. He is refered to as Mr. Lacroix and he assures the board members that he will return Queen Industries to greatness but recommends liquidating Q-Core. Lacroix’ daughter Emiko joins him as we discover that both Jax and Naomi are his captives and that their deaths were staged. Jax refuses to work for him and dies from an arrow through his head. Naomi immediately agrees to help find Oliver. Komodo tells her she has an hour or his daughter will cut off her fingers. This exchange is overheard by Magus. Meanwhile, Oliver makes his way to the New Dragon restaurant and meets with a man named Henry Fyff. He admits that he is Green Arrow and he needs Henry to help him. Henfry starts working on designs for new trick arrows, as the current supply is very depleted. Oliver infiltrates Emerson's office and finds a secret door leading to a room containing trophies belonging to both Emerson and Robert Queen. Oliver also finds a picture of Emerson, Robert Queen and a third man on the beach he had been stranded on for over a year. Magus arrives and warns that he must go to Black Mesa immediately or Komodo will kill him. He also mentions a group know as the Outsiders. The police arrive and Queen attempts to flee. But Naomi has found him and given the information to Komodo, who sues an arrow shot to cut Oliver’s line and it appears he is falling to his death.

Jeff Lemire and Andrea Sorrentino have completely re-energized this title and brought it to new, dizzying heights. Of course, after the previous team, that isn’t saying much. So let me begin again by saying this book rocks! While I love the old Ollie Queen, the grumpy curmudgeon who dated Black canary and went toe to toe with Hal Jordan during some classic Sixties stories by Denny O’Neil and Neal Adams, I am starting to warm up to this young upstart. The Queen we got in the first issue was a brash punk and now he has been humbled. The fact that Lemire has no problem bumping off a long time character from the NEW 52 run and forcing a second to turn traitor proves he is serious about turning this title around. Sorrentino’s art is absolutely beautiful, as we have already come to expect. This is one of my favorite new reads and I am totally curious to see what is up with The Outsiders.

GREEN LANTERN #18: Simon Baz is in the Dead Zone thanks to William Hand. Here, he finally gets to meet Hal Jordan and Sinestro. Wile Sinestro, unimpressed with Baz, thinks that Simon is dead, Hal believes that he is still alive because his ring is still shining. Sinestro attempts to regain the ring, but Hal stops him. Tomar-Re explains that the Guardians are at the mercy of Volthoom, who became the First Lantern. He was the reason the Manhunters were created. Now that he is free he can remake the universe in his own image if he can get back to full power. B'dg attempts to take Simon back to the realm of the living and the ring duplicates itself and it chooses Hal, but Sinestro wants to escape and manages to obtain it. Simon and Sinestro leave the Dead Zone, appearing in the Chamber of Shadows. Hal tries to use Black Hand’s ring to open the Dead Zone but fails. Tomar-Re says that Hal cannot have the ring because he still has one foot in the land of the living. Hal then stares over a cliff. Must Hal die to save the world? 

Geoff Johns races towards the end of his epic run on GREEN LANTERN that covers both the old AND the new universes. At times it is preachy, at times it is long winded and at times, I really want this new Green Lantern to go away and give me back Hal Jordan. That having been said, I look forward to seeing how Johns paints our heroes out of this corner. By the way, the art by Szymon Kudranski is equally dark and moody while and Ardian Syaf turns loose the clean superhero style I love. So, despite the negatives, this is still a fun read!

I VAMPIRE #18: Tyg has killed Mary and now decides she is going to do the same to Andrew Bennett, despite having been turned and acting as one of his followers as of late. They both turned into wolves and attack, with Andrew ripping a chunk out of her throat. Meanwhile, Cain is attempting to resurrect Lilith, but it seems John Constantine has put a stop to that and destroyed much of Cain’s legion at the same time. And Debbie suddenly finds herself in the middle of a debate between Bennett and his two followers, as they don’t want to end the world, as it seems Cain wants, they just want to rule it. Bennett knocks them out and is just about to deliver a killing blow when Tyg arrives and tears a chunk out of his neck. The threshold between worlds is opened, the magician and the bookkeeper die and Lilith is reborn through Tyg. At this point, Bennett has a revelation and realizes he must stop Lilith. He also thinks that Debbie is Mary.

As this title hurtles towards its final issue next month, things are dropping in place and cast members are dropping like flies. The magicians, the bookkeeper, Mary, John and Tyg have all bit the big one in recent issues. And I can bet more will take it on the chin before it’s done. Well, all except John Constantine who still has two titles to appear in when this one is through. As always, great work from Joshua Hale Fialkov with art this time from Fernando Blanco. I have been a champion of this title since issue #1(or #0, if you want to go in chronological order) but the sales were never there, despite the acclaim. I implore you: support your local shop, buy the back issues or the trade paperbacks and maybe someday we will get a repeat performance.

JUSTICE LEAGUE #18: Following the THRONE OF ATLANTIS storyline, the League has decided to go on a recruiting binge. They invite Black Canary, Black Lightening, Blue Devil, Element Woman, Firestorm, Goldrush, Nightwing, Platinum, Vixen and Zatanna to the Watchtower. During the meet and greet, Platinum’s responsemester malfunctions and she battles the team. The day is saved by Rhonda Pineda: a female version of The Atom, who actually lent a hand during the battle in Boston. When all is said and done, they add Firestorm, Element Woman and the Atom. Lastly, Cyborg discovers that someone has hacked into their system and left a very troubling message for them. In Chapter ten of the SHAZAM back-up, Freddy reveals Billy’s secrets to the rest of the kids in the house and Dr. Sivana presents the Seven Sins to Black Adam.
 
This was an interesting bridge between the THRONE OF ATLANTIS and the upcoming TRINITY WARS. And an interesting series of characters added to the mix. We have Element Woman, who is this Universe’ version of Metamorpho, Firestorm, who is soon to be bookless, and a new Atom, because Ray Palmer works as a scientist for S.H.A.D.E. I would have liked to have seen Black Lightning and Blue Devil on the team, but maybe DC is hoping to give them their own title have their run in DC UNIVERSE PRESENTS. It was also nice to see one of the Metal men introduced, even is she was defective. Can we hope for a REAL METAL MEN series down the road? Now you knew Zatanna wouldn’t get the nod or Black Canary as they have their own teams to deal with and multiple teams doesn’t really work, unless you’re a Marvel character. And who is Goldrush and who cares? Great looking art from Jesus Saiz that makes me say “Jim Lee who?” As far as SHAZAM goes: finish the origin and gives us a real series!

JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK #18: While the battle of Epoch goes on, Dr. Peril proceeds to send Jack Hunter from Nanda Parbut to save his son Tim. Meanwhile, Constantine manages to get his portion of the team out of the Network’s facility and they race to help Zatanna and Tim, who are desperately losing the battle. Suddenly Jack Hunter appears and uses magic to freeze everything in place. Together with Tim, they gather all of their power to defeat the enemy. It appears both father and son are descendants of THE Hunter: the wizard who initially fought against Network. Father and son opt to remain in Epoch as wizard-kings while Justice League Dark go home. Once in Nanda Parbat, Madame Xanadu and Black Orchid return to their former selves. Constantine tells Steve Trevor that the team will no longer cooperate with A.R.G.U.S. They turn their back on the government and enter the House of Mystery. Trevor tells them that they can consider themselves to be enemies of the Justice League.

I SO LOVE THIS BOOK!!! Jeff Lemire and Ray Fawkes do a great job of writing it and Mikel Janin’s art rocks! The characters are nicely fleshed out and making both Tim and Jack hunter wizards is brilliance and does a nice job of tipping their hats to the genius of Neil Gaiman. So, having sung the praises of this, I again ask WHY CONSTANTINE #1 is so weak? I wish I had an answer because I would love to have the same energy that appears here in that title.